If Only In My Dreams
by e.t.e.r.n.i.t.i.e.s.E.C.H.O
Summary: It's Christmas Eve, and the snow is gently falling. After being beaten and left in the cold, Jonouchi Katsuya has no hope, except, perhaps, for a good samaritan whose limosine happens to be passing by. christmas fluff, oneshot. JS


Hello! Welcome to my first one shot fic!

**readers wildly complain that it's not the holidays so therefore I must be crazy**

Yes, yes, I know. But I was in the mood. I also had the Christmas song stuck from this fic stuck in my head. And once I have an idea I have to write it down! I couldn't wait 6 months!

It may or may not have a sad ending… you'll just have to see for yourselves. Mwaha. I'm so mean.

Note to readers! signals the switch between Kaiba and Jou's POV and indicates a scene switch.

And now, on to the fic!

_If Only In My Dreams_

_I remember it clearly, you know._

_Don't remember much else of that night, but I can still see your face when I close my eyes. I found something that wasn't there before. Or maybe it was there all along, and I just wasn't looking._

_You know what else I remember? It was cold that day. So cold that through the crackling of my radio, I could hear the weathermen advise everybody to bundle up or stay indoors. It all began with that cold._

"…and a high of 34F, low of 23F, with added wind-chill factor, it's co-o-old out there. It should be cooling off even more by nightfall, so I'd strongly suggest dressing for the weather…" the blonde boy carelessly flicked off the radio as soon as the familiar static reached his ears. He sat on the floor in the living room of the tiny apartment, gazing out the cracked window at the snow drifting softly across the streetlight before fading out of view. It was Christmas Eve, and his friends were all on various vacations or celebrating with their families, and so the boy was alone. He switched on the radio once more, adjusting the tuner until a broken-up version of "I'll Be Home For Christmas" began drifting through the old speakers.

"Ain't that t' truth," muttered the boy called Jonouchi, slumping against the low table in the center of the room and resting his head on his arms. Moments later, he was interrupted by the abrupt ringing of the old off-white telephone perched near his left elbow. A spark of hope flared in him at the possibility of hearing a friendly voice. Jonouchi snatched it from its cradle and held it to his ear expectantly.

"Hello, may I speak to Mr. or Mrs. Jonouchi, please?" droned an unfamiliar voice.

The boy felt his smile slip away, until he shook his head absently and replaced the phone. Perhaps it was better that he was alone in the house. It was preferable, at least, to his father's company. Jonouchi Sr. had left earlier that day, a thick wad of their savings in hand, heading towards the local bar. Jonouchi didn't expect him to show up any time soon.

"I'll be home for Christmas," he sang softly, "you can count on me. We'll have snow, and mistletoe, and presents on the tree." He smiled, envisioning a brightly lit room filled with the people he loved, with music playing and an enormous Christmas tree with ornaments and presents. The end of the song startled him back to reality, gazing sadly at the empty, dingy room around him. What was it like to have a Christmas tree?

BANG! BANG! BANG!

Jou suddenly whirled around to face the front door, which had begun to rattle madly against an unknown attacker from the outside, soon followed by a familiar and yet unwelcome voice.

"HEY, BOY! Open up in there, y' ungrateful little brat!" Wild cursing followed as his father roared and began to beat at the door with his fists again.

Jou's heart sank. _The perfect end to a perfect day. _He slowly dragged himself up and crossed the short distance to the door with the enthusiasm of one headed to the gallows. The pounding had ceased. Jou drew the bolt and opened the door.

His father, who had been sagging against it moments before, tumbled into the room and crashed into Jou, dragging them both to the floor.

"GOD DAMMIT!" the older man screeched, scrambling to his feet as his foot connected with the boy on the floor. "YOU USELESS, LAZY PIECE OF SHIT!" His words were slurred, and Jou, clutching at his side in pain, could tell that he was absolutely drunk. That was when he got violent. Jonouchi Sr. stumbled to the door yet again and doubled over suddenly, emptying the contents of his stomach onto the steps as he clutched an empty beer bottle in one hand.

Jou heaved himself to his feet and turned to go to his room when he heard the telltale splintering of glass from just outside the door. His entire body froze, fists clenching in fear as his face turned pale. He subconsciously traced old scars up and down his arms gently with his fingertips as he attempted to move. He had to get away, but where could he go? It was no use going to his room – he'd be trapped. The only way out was to push his way past the old man and hope he was too drunk to hurt him badly on the way out.

"Boy…" the voice spoke softly, dangerously, words as sharp as razors. A warning. And it was steadily coming closer. Making a split second decision, Jonouchi threw himself through the door and attempted to shoulder his way past the drunken man clutching a broken bottle and wearing a smile of premonition. But he wasn't strong enough. A rough hand seized his wrist, and he barely had time to react before he heard the whoosh of the broken bottle as it sliced through the air. Heard the slice as it tore through his shirt, tore through the skin of his back.

He screamed desperately, helplessly, as the bottle flashed once more, embedding itself in him before it was wrenched back. He blindly thrust out with his foot and felt it connect. It was all the force needed to knock the man down in the state he was in. Jou stumbled to his feet and ran blindly into the flurry of white. And he ran, ran until the breath was torn from him, ran until his limbs were on fire, ran until he was too dizzy to even stand. And then he collapsed by the roadside. And the snow continued to fall.

The long black limo purred as it made it's way slowly down the frost-covered road. On either side, owners were beginning to close up shop and head home for the night. It was too cold to be out any longer. The young man watched idly from his position on the leather seats as the lights began to blink out. There, and there. He casually pulled his coat more tightly around him, although the inside of the car was warm.

It had been a long day at work. He had woken up early that morning to find his younger brother Mokuba smiling at him expectantly, ready for a long day of games and spending time with his big brother. But sadly, there was much to do at the company, and so he had had to disappoint his brother yet again. Mokuba had bravely agreed to allowing him to go to work, but not before making him promise to be home as soon as was possible.

Seto Kaiba smiled at the thought of his younger brother waiting for him at home. It was rare that they could spend time together so casually, just to be a family and enjoy each other's company. Though he would never admit it, he looked forward to these chances to make memories that he could later look back on.

His gaze once again returned to the window, the last light on the street naturally attracting his attention. But… what was that underneath it? A shivering mass lay huddled at the base of the streetlight in the cold. Was it a person? No one should be outside in this weather. Seto Kaiba's brow furrowed in thought before he reached a decision.

"Driver, stop the car," he commanded.

"Stop the car? But… Mr. Kaiba, sir…" the driver began.

"Stop the car," it was more menacing this time.

His driver hesitated, and then:

"Yes, sir." He pulled over to the curb.

Seto Kaiba grasped the handle and let himself out of the car, hit with a wave of frost, which greatly contrasted the comforting warmth inside the vehicle. He strode briskly over to the figure under the light and removed his coat, draping it over the frozen figure, when the man looked up and met his eyes.

It was…

No, it couldn't be. Why the hell would the mutt be outside in weather like this? And those eyes… were so dead. Kaiba wrenched his eyes away from the emotionless gaze of the other and focused on his coat, which lay across Jonouchi's back. A slow red stain was soaking through the crisp white trench coat. But why? What was it?

"Kaib'…? …s'at you?" the blonde boy whispered, voice torn to shreds. It was then that Seto Kaiba realized what the red stain on his coat was. It was blood.

"What's the meaning of this!" he demanded in horror, "what are you doing here? What in all hell happened!"

Jonouchi softly shook his head, wincing in pain without making a sound.

Kaiba closed his eyes, taking a deep breath, before he kneeled next to Jou in the snow and wrapped his arms around the shivering boy. Jou weakly lifted his head in surprise at the sudden warmth, before he was lifted off the ground in the arms of none other than Seto Kaiba. His weak attempt to protest was overlooked by the other, and, realizing defeat, Jou finally slumped against him and allowed himself to be carried to the limo. Kaiba leaned in and laid Jou gently across the seat before climbing into the back after him and slamming the door on the biting cold. The driver looked up in surprise and confusion, wanting to ask questions but knowing too well the rebuke he would get.

"…erm… someone you know, sir?" he asked finally, trying to ignore the red of the coat. _Just don't look at it, don't look at it, don't look at it. Drive._

"You could say that," Kaiba said slowly, turning his attention once more to the boy beside him. His pale arms were slowly turning blue from the cold, and he was still much too weak to move. Jonouchi watched Kaiba silently from his position stretched out across the seats. The other met his gaze and sighed.

"We're taking you to a hospital, mutt," he said as nonchalantly as was possible, "I wouldn't want you dying within a 10 foot proximity of me… bad press coverage, you see."

Too exhausted to retort, Jou simply closed his eyes and leaned into the seat. Until those words sunk in.

He thoughtlessly made a move as if to sit up, and then cried out in pain as the wound on his back began to tear. "Not… the hospital. Not there…please," Jou whispered through clenched teeth.

_If we go there, they'll need my name and phone number. Can't just explain to Kaiba why he can't divulge that information, and he might tell them who I am. Then…** he** could find me. I can't let him know… he'll come after me again. I have to get away…_

Seto Kaiba's voice tore through his thoughts.

"Why not? That's the best place for you to be. Unless of course you'd rather I stop the car and dump you on the sidewalk." Jou grimaced at this, shaking his head slightly.

Kaiba sighed. "I don't like this at all. Why should I oblige you just because you have some stupid fear of hospitals? Why am I even helping you at all?" he muttered the last bit to himself as if hoping to find the answer in the question, but none came.

"You're coming with me." It was not a suggestion.

"I…what?"

"Don't make me repeat myself. I'll have my physician examine you in lieu of going to the hospital. But you never answered my question. What was the cause of all this?" he asked, seemingly unconcerned, but in reality wanting to know very badly.

"I… I fell on my way to the store…" Jou said quietly, the excuse sounding stupid even to his own ears. Apparently Kaiba agreed.

"Don't lie to me. You seem to grossly underestimate my intelligence. I won't say it again," his eyes narrowed dangerously, "I want to know what happened."

Jonouchi shivered slightly under the glare of the other, before deciding to tell him what happened to him, if not who did it or why. Kaiba had saved his life… it was the very least he could do. Wait… Kaiba had saved his life? Jou almost groaned in agony. This was just what he needed… owing Seto Kaiba a debt. But it couldn't be helped.

"I… got cut," Jou finally whispered, turning his face away and offering no sort of explanation.

"You got cut," Kaiba repeated dubiously.

"Yeah…"

"By whom?" the ice in his voice melted, just slightly.

"Why…," Jou suddenly winced as the car went over a speed bump, "why'd ya… say that it was a…person who did it?"

"I should think that would be obvious. Look at your arms."

And it was true. Glancing down in horror, Jou realized that he had been wearing no coat, and so the scars up and down his arms were revealed. They were long and twisted, spider-webbed and crisscrossed like a shattered window. Ditches of decay and pain. And now, Seto Kaiba knew it just as well as he did.

"I…" Jou desperately tried to think of some explanation, some excuse, but could think of none. He hung his head in shame, refusing to meet Kaiba's questioning blue eyes, startled to find his own began to burn. He shook away the feeling at once. He could. Not. Cry. In. Front. Of. Kaiba.

Just as the CEO was about to speak, they pulled up to a large iron gate where the driver punched in a code to a keypad. The doors swung open to admit them as the car slowly made it's way up the drive to the front of an enormous mansion. Jou's eyes widened in wonder at the sight before him. But he didn't have time to look for long, for Kaiba had already opened the door and was looking at Jou, as if contemplating how to get him into the house without worsening his injury. But as soon as Jou thought this he realized it was ridiculous. Knowing Kaiba, he'd want to inflict as much pain as possible. Or at least… he had before. Maybe things were different now. Lost in thought, he didn't realize Kaiba had lifted him yet again until he felt the delicious warmth surrounding him and Kaiba's arms wrapped around him. How strange… he really should mind, but somehow he didn't. It felt…nice.

And so, Katsuya Jonouchi allowed himself to be carried into a home he never thought he'd enter. Through the double doors, and into the Kaiba mansion.

Seto Kaiba had never been one to go out of his way to help others. He kept to himself, and he liked his privacy quite well, thank you very much. So he found it rather odd that he was making his way up the staircase of his mansion one Christmas Eve holding a mutt in his arms with utmost care. But this wasn't just any mutt… this was Jonouchi Katsuya. And so it was even stranger still.

Walking down the hall, Seto Kaiba saw a light on underneath the door to his brother's room. His arms being full, he kicked gently at the door until he had caught Mokuba's attention.

"Who is it?" the younger boy chirped from the other side of the wall.

"It's me, Mokie. I need you to do something for me. I would like you to please call the physician, Yazawa-san, and tell him to get here as quickly as possible."

He heard a thump as his brother jumped off the bed and ran to the door, throwing it wide open. He looked frightened.

"What's wrong, Seto? Are you hurt? Is--" he stopped short and stared when he saw Jonouchi.

"Seto… is that _Jou_? What's wrong with him? What happened?" the boy asked, just short of panicking.

"He was hurt. Don't worry, he's going to be fine, but please call Yazawa right away," Seto said in as calm a voice as he could, not wanting to worry Mokuba any more than was necessary.

"Okay, big brother. I'll go tell him right now!" the small black-haired boy turned and sprinted off down the hall. Kaiba smiled slightly as he watched his brother's retreating back. He glanced down as he realized Jou was slipping slightly from his grasp. Tightening his hold on the other, he crossed the hall to a guest room and stepped inside, careful not to hit Jonouchi's head in the doorframe. The mutt seemed to have fallen asleep, for he was breathing steadily with eyes closed.

Seto Kaiba strode across the room and bent down, gently laying Jonouchi on the large bed, although he realized he couldn't stand again because Jou's arms were wrapped around his neck. He looked up to see Jonouchi's face inches from his own, and Seto's face flushed as he realized the compromising position they were in. Hastily disentangling Jou's arms from himself, he turned to go when a hand weakly reached out and grabbed his sleeve. He froze, turning to stare down at the figure on the bed. Those golden eyes held his own as the blonde boy whispered one last thing before he fell asleep.

"Stay with me…"

It wasn't until after the physician had arrived and treated and bound Jou's wounds that anyone in the Kaiba household could breathe a sigh of relief. Somehow it seemed that every servant in the mansion was aware of the arrival of Jou, and rumors were flying between them like mad. Where had he come from? Who was he? A friend of the Kaibas? What had happened?

And yet, to the brunette boy seated in a chair by Jou's bedside, these rumors meant nothing. Let them think what they would. After all, he couldn't go set them straight even if he wanted to. He had a promise to keep.

Stay with me… 

The words echoed in his mind, and his heart gave a sudden jolt.

What was that? 

Seto looked once more upon the golden haired boy, unsure of what had just happened. Of how he had just felt. Tentatively, he leaned forward and lightly brushed the golden tresses from the boy's face, before jerking his hand back in confusion. What was he doing?

He shook these thoughts from his head, aware suddenly of the Christmas music echoing down the hall from the living room. Mokuba had always had an overshare of holiday spirit. Seto chuckled to himself. He had walked into the living room the day before to find it strewn with construction paper chains and strings of popcorn and dried berries. Mokuba had done a wonderful job of decorating their Christmas tree. 10 feet tall, as per his brother's request, and stuffed at the base with the presents he and Mokie got each other, as well as small tokens of appreciation for the staff. He had never been a big fan of the holidays, but with Mokuba around… well, you didn't have much of a choice.

Seto's eyes came once more to rest on Jou just as his eyelids began to flicker. Jou's hand came up over his face to rub the sleep from his eyes, and he turned his head questioningly, as if forgetting where he was.

"Kaiba?" he asked, and then, "you stayed." Jou smiled, and somehow Seto felt the corners of his mouth tugging upward.

"How are you feeling, pup? Do you need anything?" he was surprised at the concern he heard in his voice. That wasn't supposed to be there…

"Thanks… Seto, but I'm allright. Just cold, that's all."

Kaiba stared. "What… did you call me?"

"I called you Seto… is that allright? I just thought, ya know, since ya saved me n' all--" Jou started to explain hastily, before Kaiba cut him off.

"No, it's fine. I was just surprised, that's all."

"Oh, well that's good," Jou sighed, looking relieved.

Kaiba hesitated before speaking once more. "So you are cold? Do you want me to ask one of the servants to bring another blanket?" _After all, he did almost freeze to death._

"Actually…well… I was wonderin' if, if," Jou began with a hopeful look in his eye, but then shook his head fiercely, "… no, never mind."

"What?" Kaiba asked with curiosity.

"Well… it's still cold with the blankets… but when you were carryin' me before…it was warm," Jou turned a fierce red, "so could you … put your arms around me, like you did before?" He couldn't meet Seto's eyes, and so stared furiously at his hands clenched in front of him.

He heard a sudden movement, and Jou's eyes widened as he felt a weight next to him and realized, as a familiar pair of warm arms surrounded him, that his request had been granted. He sighed contentedly, leaning carefully back against the man who, just a day ago, he would have said he hated with all his heart.

"Thanks, Kaiba."

Mokuba woke up early that morning, stretching his arms high over his head and yawning loudly. Suddenly, his eyes snapped open and he threw the blankets off, leaping out of bed and scrambling down the hall. It was Christmas! He had to find Seto and wake him up so they could have their stockings and unwrap gifts! He practically hurled himself into Seto's room, running over to the bed and jumping on it wildly.

"Seto! Seto! Wake up! It's--" Mokuba suddenly stopped speaking as he realized that his brother was nowhere to be found. But… where was he? Seto was never one to get up early to celebrate Christmas…

_Maybe Jou knows where he is!_ Mokuba realized Jou might not be awake yet, and he remembered the doctor's strict orders to allow him to rest until he had begun to recover, but it was Christmas! The rules were different on the holidays. He bounced down the hall to the guest room where Jou was staying, and knocked once on the door lightly before swinging it open and stepping inside. He was, to say the least, very surprised at the sight before him. His brother was sprawled out on the bed, Jou laying against him with his arms wrapped around his waist, and the sunlight from the window shining on their faces. Mokuba giggled to himself and walked out to the living room alone. _Maybe I'll make some more paper chains before they wake up…I don't want to bother them. It seems that Seto's really found someone this time. _He smiled happily and picked up the safety scissors, ready to get to work.

It wasn't until hours later that they woke. Jou was the first to stir.

_What… where am I? This definitely isn't my house… th' old man'd be yellin' by now if it was. And what's so warm? It feels good…I wish I could stay like this forever._

He sighed happily and held on more tightly to the source of the warmth, accidentally waking him up. As blue eyes swept around the room and finally found Jou, Kaiba remembered the events of the night before and realized vaguely that it was Christmas. The sight of Jou with his arms wrapped around him made him smile, and he attempted to shift into a sitting position. Jou opened his eyes and stared in confusion at Kaiba's chest, against which he had pressed his face only moments before, before he, too, regained his memory and pulled back, blushing fiercely. Seto captured Jou's eyes with his own and smiled, causing Jou's heart, for reasons he didn't want to think too hard about, skip a beat.

"Jou?"

"Yeah?" he asked quietly.

"Merry Christmas." Seto smiled again, gazing at Jou and hesitating, before he leaned down and gently pressed his lips against the blonde's. Jou's eyes widened in shock. Wasn't he supposed to push him away, or get angry? But perhaps… perhaps it was better to not think about it that way. Maybe… this was what he wanted. His eyes slid closed as he softly kissed the other back, Seto's surprise at this being just as great as his own. His hands grasped the chestnut locks, fingers sliding through the soft tresses until the two slowly pulled away and watched each other silently.

"Merry Christmas, Seto."

_Some say Christmas is defined by the number of carols you sing, or the presents under the tree. The decorations, the Hallmark cards, the stockings.. But I learned something that year that I never suspected could be true. In the hours that followed, I experienced a Christmas that I'd never known before. _

_But do you know the most important difference between this year and the last? It meant something special to me, Seto._

_Because this year, I was home for Christmas._


End file.
